Comparing Miami/Florida to Germany - a brief review of a sunburned German dude...

Hi,

I am really, really, really trying hard to stay neutral here when evaluating my last couple of days in Miami .... ah....hm.....still trying hard..... asrahrakjsrjkaskhaskdasdasd

SCREW IT!

THEY HAVE A BEACH !!! AND 35 DEGREES !!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER !!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I left Texas with all of their Dodge Rams and cowboys to fly....well I dont know to some kind of a capitalistic version of Kuba? While doing all kinds of things the last couple of days I came up here and there with funny differences I noticed between Florida, especially Miami and Germany... so this post will mostly deal with comparing these 2 states/countries from a not so serious point of view.

The people:

It would be unfair to combine all kinds of people at the same time so we will split this up into groups:

Young people of Miami:

Miami: Everyone here is beautiful, tanned and ripped like hell...seriously go ahead and find me one person that is not insanely good looking. the ones you will find are either German tourists or British people...

Now there are several possible reasons for the phenomenon why everyone is super hot in Miami:

a) there is a law in Florida that allows people from the gouvernment to shoot all not super hot looking people when they turn 18 (I think they might want to outsource that job to texas, they sure love their guns, and they could bring loads of them with them ...remember, they got big cars...)

b) everyone in miami is unemployed, professional stripper or works in some other industry mostly related to nightly activities, this is giving them enough time to work out the whole day and just go to the beach

c) speaking of beach...: THEY HAVE A BEACH !!! AND 35 DEGREES !!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER !!!!


Young people of Germany:

They usually have a regular job and dont have a beach. At the most they go on vacation once a year to Mallorca.

Little funny game as a side note now: How you can make every tourist of the world look like  a German? Just cut out this picture and cover his lower body with this picture.

IT ALWAYS WORKS!

Thats how quickly a girl from Miami Beach can become the German tourist from next door :)


Speaking of the people: Everyone in Miami is super super super tanned. I got really tanned as well on the 2 days that I spend on the beach. Just look at this picture I took in front of a white wall of myself this morning:

Me naked in front of a white wall (you can see I closed my eyes and mouth)

Old people Miami:

The average age in the state of Florida is 45 years. Where I come from the average age is probably around 35 at most... why is that? Because all of the old people from the US move to Florida once they retired... why would you do this? Well here we go again:

THEY HAVE A BEACH !!! AND 35 DEGREES !!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER !!!!

But that one statistic wasnt enough to underline my point of how old people are on average in Florida so I ran a couple of surveys on my various bus rides through south beach as well and here are the results:

- average amount of knee replacements  per bus ride was 4 per 100 miles. that is the so called AKR (artificial knee ratio)

- average amount of world wars people have experienced themselves on the bus: 3 (history is not taught well in the US)

- amount of people that died since the survey was conducted until the point this blog entry was written: 8,5 (one old lad is still indecisive whether he wants to hang it up or not)

Dont get me wrong, I like old people and if I had the chance I would want to live in Miami as well when I am old instead of in Germany. Because that is what we do in Germany with old people once they are retired:

Picture taken in Germany on July 14th 2013

 

 

Enough comparisons....

Sports scene miami:

The Miami Heats basketball team is by far the best in the NBA right now, or has been in recent years. How can they attract all of those good players...well....you know whats coming:

THEY HAVE A BEACH !!! AND 35 DEGREES !!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER !!!!

All in all I was disappointed with the atmosphere in the American Airlines Arena in Miami. It was a game between 2 of the top teams of the league and it was not sold out I guess many of the people with tickets didnt come because:

- they turned 18 and well... you know...they were below average beautiful
- they were retired people that either died, or were in the hospital for a knee replacement
- the people were on the beach (because even at night it is like 30 degrees)

The fans were not really that crazy in Miami, Chicago and Dallas were MUUUUUCH better there. The only nice thing were a couple of Germans I met during the game which were really nice people and we were able to discucss how to wear socks in our sandals, if the economy of Puerto Rico might be hit by inflation next year and stuff like that you know.

Funniest moment of the game: the national anthem ceremony and the size of the flag they had there:

 

Compared to the flag that was all across the football field in Dallas this just looks like a joke. I stole this flag after the game in Miami and attached it to a Dodge Ram just to show you the perspective:

Summary:

I LOVE MIAMI. As I said it feels like a capitalistic version of some carrebean country. There are more Spanish than English speaking people down there, there are only either super hot or very old people running around. I would not want to live and work there, but it is an amazing place to spend your holidays I tell you. You have amazing parties, a basketball team, a football team, a baseball team and well.... you all knew it was coming again:


THEY HAVE A BEACH !!! AND 35 DEGREES !!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING NOVEMBER !!!!

I am too tired now to upload more pictures and videos, will do this at another point in time, most of them are anyway taken on the beach or on parties and are not to be disclosed.

I am in New York now already on my last stop. Cant wait to check the city out again. Got upgraded to a suite in the Radisson Hotel on the 18th floor and I still cant oversee the city because all other buildings are higher....oh boy, how I missed the big apple :)

So long

Peter